10 Commandments For Dating My Daughters

Rant 2 Comments »

I have a confession to make. My workout motivation has totally changed over the last few years. Working out these days to me is not about how my “guns” look in a t-shirt or what powerlifting competition I decide to win. It’s not about the pool party coming up at some hottie’s house. (OK, I do still care about my appearance BUT now I have a much bigger purpose to stay in shape and that’s MY KIDS).

I want to be in shape and healthy so that I can keep up with them and experience life with them. Don’t you want to do the same for your children?

I workout and eat healthy not just for me these days BUT also because I have a much bigger responsibility and that is to provide for my family and stay healthy to protect them.

Don’t you??

And just when I thought I had everything covered………

I felt this fear take over my body. I started getting very upset. I have a huge fear now: BOYS

So I thought I set some ground rules for dating my daughters…….

I even dusted off some of my old weightlifting pictures for this post (maybe I can intimidate some high school boys)

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you sure as h*** are not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.

Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

BARRIER

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

Please do not do this.

The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

If you make her cry, I will make you cry like a baby.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:

Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

Places where there is darkness.

Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay.

Hockey games are okay.

Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me.

I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

But on issues relating to my daughters, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe.

If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.

When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.

Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside.

The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I am having a blast being a Dad. Nothing like being inducted to the “dad’s club”.

Simple Asian Turkey Burger Recipe (Only 45 Cents A Burger!)

Nutrition No Comments »

I’ve got to admit: I’m not a huge fan of ground turkey.  This simple burger recipe is about the only way I like to eat it.

Makes 3 Servings (3 Burgers)

Ingredients

  • 1 pound ground turkey
  • 1/8 cup minced onion
  • 3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
  • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
  • 2 tablespoons minced green bell pepper
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 1 tablespoon water
  • 1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
  • Salt and pepper
  • 2 cloves garlic, crushed

Directions

1. Combine all the ingredients in a big bowl.
2. With clean hands, squeeze it together until it’s very well combined.
3. Divide into three equal portions and form into burgers about 3/4 inch (2 cm) thick.
4. Spray a skillet with non-stick cooking spray.
5. Place over medium-high heat.
6. Cook the burgers for about 5 minutes per side until cooked through.

Nutritional Facts (Per Serving)

Calories: 184
Protein: 33g
Carbohydrates: 4g
Fat: 4g

I found this recipe in my Metabolic Cooking System cookbook.

Healthy Recipe: Blackened Chicken Breast

Nutrition No Comments »

This simple recipe takes just a few minutes to prepare, and only 7 minutes of cooking time.  I like to quadruple the recipe and have the rest for lunches and snacks.

Blackened chicken breast tastes great shredded or sliced over a spinach and arugula salad and is one of my favorite “pack-and-go” lunches – nothing to heat up, and it’s not messy :)

Blackened Chicken Ingredients:

  • 1/2 teaspoon paprika
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground white pepper
  • 1/8 teaspoon onion powder
  • 2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
  • extra virgin olive oil

Blackened Chicken Breast Cooking Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Lightly oil a baking sheet. Heat a cast iron skillet over high heat for 5 minutes until it is smoking hot.

2. Mix together the paprika, salt, cayenne, cumin, thyme, white pepper, and onion powder. Lightly oil the chicken breasts with extra virgin olive oil on both sides (a Misto sprayer works great for this), then coat the chicken breasts evenly with the spice mixture.

3. Place the chicken in the hot pan, and cook for 1 minute.  Flip and cook for 1 minute on other side. Place the breasts on the prepared baking sheet.

4. Bake in the preheated oven until no longer pink in the center and the juices run clear, about 5 minutes.

 

A Hormone To Help You Lose Fat Faster

Nutrition, Weight Loss No Comments »

My friends over at Prograde Nutrition come out with a lot of terrific nutrition articles, but this is definitely one of their best.

It’s also one of the most important articles you can read because it directly impacts your ability to lose fat fast.

Read it here <- Click here

Seriously, if your goal is to lose fat then you need to read what the research says about this hormone. This article does a great job of explaining it in easy to understand language.

Read it here <- Click here

Study Corner: Metabolic Adaptations In Low Volume Sprints Vs. High Volume Endurance

Exercise, Interval Training, Study No Comments »

Ok, today’s scien-tastic study will really appeal to you if you’re pressed for time to work out.  (And who isn’t?!?)

Researchers from McMaster University in Canada compared low volume sprint (interval) training to high volume aerobic (endurance) training.

Without bogging down in too many details (I’ll link to the study at the bottom of this post), the aerobics group worked out at 65% of their maximal oxygen uptake for 40-60 minutes, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks.

The interval training group did 4-6 “all out” 30 second sprints with 4.5 minutes rest between sprints, 3 days a week, for 6 weeks.

Total training time for the aerobic group was 4.5 hours per week.  Total for the interval training group was 1.5 hours per week (with 90% of that time being rest!!).

After the six weeks both groups showed the SAME metabolic changes!

Now, I would have expected the interval training group to be burning more fat, but even though the results were the same, look at the total training time!  90 minutes a week of interval training gave the same fat loss benefits as 270 minutes of aerobics training!

That’s pretty freakin’ cool :)

So, if you want to save time in the gym, start hitting some intervals.  Here’s a step-by-step plan to get you started: Interval Training For Fat Loss

Here’s the citation for today’s study:

J Physiol. 2008 January 1; 586(Pt 1): 151–160.
Published online 2007 November 8.
Similar metabolic adaptations during exercise after low volume sprint interval and traditional endurance training in humans
Kirsten A Burgomaster,1 Krista R Howarth,1 Stuart M Phillips,1 Mark Rakobowchuk,1 Maureen J MacDonald,1 Sean L McGee,2 and Martin J Gibala1

And here’s a link to the abstract: Similar metabolic adaptations during exercise after low volume sprint interval and traditional endurance training in humans

Hardcore Exercises From “Tactical Fitness” Bootcamp

Bootcamp, Exercise, Sports 1 Comment »

I’m working on the workout plans for the new Wold Tactical Fitness Bootcamp (Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday 6:30-7:30pm) and thought it would be fun to share some of the exercises we’re going to be using to reach the next level of fitness….

Reverse Bridge Push Up:

Twisting Planker Push Up:

Bootstrapper Squats:

Scorpion-Style Shin Box:

Suspended Hamstring Curls:

Tripod Switch:

Tight Burpee:

Kettlebell Split Snatch:

Box Jumps:

Kick-Through Side Plank:

Tiger Push Up:

Hip Touch Twist:

Shoulder Roll:

Deadlift/Pushup Combo:

Modified Rope Climbs:

Twisting Mountain Climbers:

Reverse Wall Walks:

Suspended Triceps Extension:

One Armed Burpees and Deck Squats:

Clapping Dive Bomber Push Up:

Handstands and Handstand Push Ups:

Arm Thread Push Up:

Rocky IV Flags:

Kettlebell Snatch and Windmill:

Spiral Squat:

Shin Box Flag:

Kneeling Jump:

Kick Through Squat With Pillow Twist:

Ok, there’s lots lots more to post, but I’ve got to go set up for tonight’s bootcamp!

Catch ya later!

~ Luke Wold

PS – This is what I look like when we’re done filming these videos for you:

Is Your “Cardio” Making You Fat?

Exercise, Weight Loss No Comments »

Is Cardio Making You Fat?

Special Guest Article by Shawna Kaminski

What kind of cardio are you doing? If you’re doing long, slow, low intensity cardio, then you’re going to burn calories WHILE you’re exercising.

But is this most effective fat burning cardio you can do? The kind where you barely break a sweat?

For the time and energy you invest, is there a more effective way?

Is it possible to burn calories even AFTER your exercise session is over? (As well as burning calories DURING exercise?)

Of course! If you’re ever heard of HIIT, or high intensity interval training, then this is your solution.

With HIIT your workout time is literally cut in half and you’ll burn more calories during your workout. As well, some studies have proven that you’ll continue to burn calories for up to 38 hours AFTER your HIIT workout with an elevated metabolic rate. This means that you could train on Monday morning and still be burning calories Tuesday night!

Sound too good to be true? What’s the catch?

The kicker is that for the short time invested in HIIT, you really need to push yourself and get a sweat on. It’s not called ‘high intensity’ for nothing.

There’s a variety of ways you can incorporate HIIT into your workout:

-running

-swimming

-rowing

-stair running

-jumping jacks

-anything you can think of

And there are a number of ways you can set your work to rest sets up. For example:

-Do 20 seconds of HIGH INTENSITY work, and follow it with 10 seconds of rest.

-Do 30 sec of work with a 20 sec rest.

- Do 40 sec of work with a 20 sec rest.

-Do 15 sec of work with a 15 sec rest.

-Be creative, there’s no ONE way to do HIIT.

The key is to get the heart rate elevated and then let it slow down and repeat for up to 20 minutes.

How does interval training look in real life with real life athletes?

Take a look at sprinters…

Sprinters have events that are between 10-40 seconds in length, so their training reflects preparation for these events. They do short bursts of intense activity followed by short rests. Then they repeat this over and over again.

In other words…interval training (HIIT).

Take a look at sprinters. Do you see much body fat? They are some of the leanest athletes around with 4-6% of body fat. They have lean, sexy muscle and a stoked metabolism such that they can eat a ton to maintain their physiques.

Now, let’s look at marathon runners….

A marathon is a long event and these athletes train for hours at a much lower pace.

Is this the ‘look’ you’re after? Often marathon runners have some muscle, but it may not be what you had in mind…

It may not be the muscle tone you’re looking for as often is the case that marathon runners have a ‘skinny fat’ look.

Unless you were born to the right parents, that is, unless you have amazing genetics, you won’t get the body of your dreams with low intensity cardio.

What kind of cardio is the most time efficient method of burning fat?

How will you use your cardio time??

Check out my program for a ton of HIIT ideas:

www.FemaleFatLossOver40.com

How To Make Paper Mache In Your Gut

Nutrition No Comments »

I’ve always told people that breads and pastas would bind up their guts, but I never had a simple way to explain it.

And then this came to me….

What is the recipe for bread?

  • 4 cups flour
  • 1 tbsp sugar
  • 1/2 tbsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tbsp baking soda
  • 1½ cups water
  • 2 tsp vinegar (cider or white)

What is the recipe for paper mache glue?

  • Water
  • Flour

Eating bread and pasta is basically making paper mache glue in your gut.

Ew.

 

NEW Information To Fight Belly Fat

Exercise, Health, Strategies, Weight Loss No Comments »

Ok, today I have a special guest article from my friend John Romaniello.

John is a kung-fu master at helping people get rid of “stubborn fat” through fighting the hormones that make fat stick.

John is also freakin’ BUILT:

Suffering from Belly Fat?
By John Romaniello

Like many people, you probably suffer from regional fat storage issues. That is, while you store fat over your entire body, it’s probably most noticeable in certain areas, and it’s from these areas in which we struggle most to lose fat. You know–the problem areas.

These problem areas are influenced heavily by your hormonal environment, and where you store that last bit of fat is determined by which of your hormones are most out of whack (and yes, sometimes it’s quite a few of them).

Today I’m going to talk to you about belly fat specifically.

One of the things that has been talked about quite a bit in fitness media lately is the relationship between belly fat and a hormone called “cortisol.” To put it simply, the higher your cortisol levels, the more belly fat you’re likely to have.

By the same token, if you have a good deal of belly fat, it’s reasonable to assume that you have high cortisol.

Having high cortisol is detrimental for other reasons, but for our purposes, let’s focus on the fact that cortisol is keeping you not-so-little in the middle.

Rather than just suffer through this, the obvious solution is to try to lower cortisol levels and resultantly lower belly fat. And I’ll tell you, lowering cortisol is a LOT trickier than you might think.

I’m sure you’ve seen the late night TV ads trying to sell you anti-cortisol pills. Even if they worked (they don’t), it’s a hormone like cortisol can’t be fooled by a little pill.

Besides, wouldn’t it be much more effective to find a solution without taking expensive pills? Something that is also going to help you burn fat overall?

Well, that’s actually possible.

You see, I’m big on using certain hormones to tame other hormones. Essentially, you CAN actually fight hormones WITH hormones. Clever, I know. It’s just a matter of finding which hormones work well against one another. When it comes to cortisol (and belly fat), you need look no further than Growth Hormone.

Also known as Human Growth Hormone or simply GH, growth hormones is produced in the pituitary gland and is responsible for growth (obviously) among other things. More specific to this writing, growth hormones is actually one of the most effective things in the world to offset cortisol.

Put simply, if you want less cortisol, just make more growth hormone.

Just tell your body to do it. Make a few calls.

Okay okay, it’s not that simple…but I have some really good news.

Did you know that there are certain types of training that are actually exceedingly effective at producing growth hormone?

It’s true–indirectly.

You see, growth hormone is normally produced and released in response to something, and in the case of training, GH is released as a response to the production of something called lactic acid. Lactic acid is a waste byproduct of some of the chemical and metabolic processes that happen during exercise.

So, if you do exercise in a specific way, you can produce MORE lactic acid, which will then produce tremendous amounts of growth hormone as a result. That growth hormone surge will also help to work against your high cortisol levels. And as we’ve established, that will absolutely assist you in getting rid of your stubborn belly fat.

Of course, you’re wondering: how to I do it!? It’s easy. While lactic acid is produced in most forms of intense exercise, there is an unusual style of exercise that can actually produce even MORE lactic acid than is generally possible with other types of exericse. Appropriately (and not-so-cleverly) called “lactic acid training,” this type of training uses slow lifting speeds and fast lowering speeds.

The reason for the structure is that lactic acid is primarily produced during the “concentric” or positive/lifting phase of an exercise, and not so much during the “eccentric” or negative/lowering phase. To take advantage of this and produce more lactic acid, we simply–with apologies to Bing Crosby–accentuate the positive and (almost but not quite) eliminate the negative of each rep on all of our exercises.

To quantify it a bit, for each rep, you’d lift it over a period of about 4 seconds, and lower the weight extremely quickly, but safely.

If you were squatting, you’d drop down to the bottom position relatively quickly, and push slowly back to the top. In an overhead press, you’d lower the dumbbells quickly but safely, and press them back over your head over a period of 4-6 seconds.

Performing exercises with these extended concentric movements is going to create a tremendous amount of lactic acid, which in turn is going to prompt your body to produce fantastic amounts of growth hormone. And that growth hormone is going to help you manage cortisol and fight belly fat.

And if all THAT wasn’t enough, lactic acid training is also just a great fat loss training methods, so you’ll lose fat overall.

If you want to fight your cortisol issues, you need growth hormone. And for that you need lactic acid training. Utilizing this method, you’re one step closer to fighting off your belly fat for good.

———————————————————————-

If you want John’s full course for losing stubborn belly fat, you can check it out at ->

Final Phase Fat Loss

Study: Pterostilbene Better Than Reservatol For Preventing Colon Cancer

Health, Nutrition, Study No Comments »

Pterostilbene is a chemical related to reservatol that is found in blueberries and grapes.

Reservatol is being heralded in the media as a magic health potion – that’s one of the reasons that red wine is good for you.

But is there something better than reservatol when it comes to preventing cancer?

A study from the National Kaohsiung Marine University in Taiwain says there is…

Researchers compared reservatol and pterostilbene’s effects on antioxidant signalling pathways for the purposes of cancer prevention.

Both chemicals “significantly enhanced expression of antioxidant enzymes.”

Both chemicals block cellular inflammation and and oxidative stress. (By the way, cellular inflammation and oxidation may be the cause of most modern diseases such as cancer, alzheimers, and obesity)

But pterostilbene is more effective than reservatol in reducing the formation of aberrant crypt foci, lymphoid nodules, and tumors, making it a pterostilbene your best choice for helping to prevent cancer.

Here is the study citation (for my fellow science geeks):

J Agric Food Chem. 2011 Mar 23;59(6):2725-33. Epub 2011 Feb 28.
Pterostilbene is more potent than resveratrol in preventing azoxymethane (AOM)-induced colon tumorigenesis via activation of the NF-E2-related factor 2 (Nrf2)-mediated antioxidant signaling pathway.
Chiou YS, Tsai ML, Nagabhushanam K, Wang YJ, Wu CH, Ho CT, Pan MH.
Department of Seafood Science, National Kaohsiung Marine University, Kaohsiung 811, Taiwan.

I make sure to eat plenty of berries over the course of a week to make sure I’m getting some pterostilbene, but I really take my health-protection and cancer-prevention plan to the next level by taking a mega supplement.  The one I take is Genesis by Prograde Nutrition.

I have this greens drink every morning at 4:30am right after I have a mug of green tea.  Click the link below for more info:

Prograde Genesis